Requesting a Three Day Pass

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"

Polish Army on Horseback

Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
A: Turn off the carousel.

Lawyer and Mexican

A lawyer and a Mexican live next to each other in the most cookie-cutter neighborhood you can imagine. One day, they're both mowing the front lawn. The Mexican says, "You know, my house is worth more than yours."
The lawyer is confused. He responds, "How? Our houses are identical. Did you renovate the interior?" "No." "Did you modernize the kitchen or the bathroom?" "I didn't." "Then how can your house be worth more than mine?" the lawyer cries.
"Well, I live next to a lawyer, and you live next to a Mexican."