Italian Acne

Q: Why don't Italians have acne?
A: It slides off.

Iraqi Army Tactics

The problem with the Iraqi army is that they were using Russian defense tactics:
1. Engage the enemy.
2. Draw him into your territory.
3. Wait until winter sets in.

Irish Nuns

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at traffic lights, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them. "Hey, show us your tits, yer bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are, show them your cross." Sister Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off yer bloody little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Immaculata looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Was that cross enough?"