Top Ten Things about Living in Manitoba

1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property
2. Amusing town names like ''Flin Flon'' and ''Winnipeg''
3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto
4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government
5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter
7. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work
8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood
9. Because of your license plate, you are still ''friendly'' even when you cut someone off
10. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by

German's Shoes

Q: How do Germans tie their shoes?
A: With little knot-sies!

Three Types of Tea

An American cowboy was traveling in England and decided to stop at a tea shop for a drink. On the menu there were several different teas to choose from. When the waitress came to take his order, the cowboy asked, "Ma'am, what the hell do all these names mean?" The waitress calmly replied, "We have basically three types of tea, sir. The pea-cove tea is 90% substance and 10% aroma, the orange tea is 10% substance and 90% aroma, and the Blackberry tea is an acquired taste." The cowboy responded, "Where I come from, we have three types of tea too, Ma'am. There's s-h-i-T which is 90% substance and 10% aroma, there is f-a-r-T which is 10% substance and 90% aroma, and then there is c-u-n-T which is an acquired taste."