Debate for the Best Bar

A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman sit in a pub and discuss the best pubs around. The Englishman says, "There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every one that you buy." The Scot is not impressed and says, "That's nothing! In the Highlands, every time you buy a drink, the landlord buys you five." The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says, "That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar closes, he takes you into a room and makes love to you." The Scot and Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot. He replies "No, but my sister told me all about it."

Romanians to Change Lightbulb 2

Q: How many Romanians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: How many packs of cigarettes are you willing to give them?

Selling In the U.S.

A man from another country came to the U.S. and learned three phrases.
1. Only fifty cents
2. Very, very fresh
3. Not today, maybe tomorrow.
A lady came to his tomato stand and said ''How much are these tomatoes?'' The man said ''Only fifty cents.'' Than she asked, ''Are they fresh?'' The man said ''Very, very fresh.'' She then asked, ''Can I buy one?'' The man said, ''Not today maybe tomorrow.'' A thief comes and said ''I'm a thief how much money do you have?'' The Tomato Seller said, ''Only fifty cents.'' The thief said, ''Are you being fresh with me?'' The Tomato seller said ''Very, very fresh.'' The thief said ''Alright, that's it. I'm going to shoot you.'' The Tomato Seller said ''Not today maybe tomorrow!"
The moral to this story is: If you go to a foreign country, learn as much of the language as possible!'