A Brief Declaration

A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs.
The Customs official says, "Have you got anything to declare?"
He thinks a second and he says, "It's a nice-a day!"

Russian Light Bulbs

Q: How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's a military secret.

Genie's Slide

There was an Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman. One day they came across a ladder and climbed up it, as one does. At the top of the ladder there was a genie and she said: "As you go down this slide, shout out whatever you want to land in..." So the Englishman shouted "Beeeeeeer." The Scotsman shouts "Whisssskey." And the poor old Irishman shouted, "Weeeeeeeee!"