Prime Weed

Q: What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?
A: The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

George W - College Days

George W. Bush was talking to some of his advisers, and they were discussing spin control on his past drug problems. "Dubya," said his PR guy, "We've got to know, are the rumors true about your using cocaine in college." "It's true," replied Bush, "but it isn't my fault. My parents were rich, and I was born with a silver spoon in my nose."

Smart Alec

A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home.
One the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled. The guy limps up to the stoner and says "Call me an ambulance!" The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says, "You're an ambulance!"