How did I get here?

A little girl asked her mother how she got here. Her mother, misty-eyed, smiled and replied, “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it, and got so high that we fucked without a condom.”

Meeting Women

Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy -- right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.

April 21st

Q: What's so special about April 21st?
A: It's national surprise drug test day.