Olympic Swimmer

A female Olympic swimmer was talking with one of her teammates about using steroids. She claimed that she was going to quit taking them because she was growing hair in scary places.
When her friend asked her where the hair was growing, she replied, "On my nuts."

Can't Shoot Weed

Q: Why can't you shoot up marijuana?
A: Because you'll get a budclot!

Officer Termination

An officer was fired for smoking weed and masturbating on the job.
No exact details were given to the public, but word has it that he was a high wanking officer.