Two Boys Visit Doctor

Two boys are in a doctor's office and one turns to the other and says, "What are you doing here?" The first kid says, "Well, I'm getting my tonsils out." The other kid says, "I had that done. Don't worry, it's not that bad. You get to lay around the house, eat ice cream and not have to talk to anyone." Then the other kid says, "That's good to know. What are you doing here?" The first kid replies, "I'm getting circumcised." The other kid responds, "Oh man, I had that done and it took me a year to learn to walk!"

Job Pain

I've got a job paralysing people.
It's back breaking work.

Doctor! Doctor!

A woman goes to the doctor's and says, "Doctor, Doctor, you have to help me. Every time I go to the bathroom, DIMES come out!"  The doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week.  A week later the woman returns and says, "Doctor, Doctor, it's gotten worse! Every time I go to the bathroom, QUARTERS come out!! What's wrong with me?"  Again the doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week.
Another week passes and the woman returns and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I'm still not getting better! Every time I go to the bathroom, HALF-DOLLARS come out! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?!!"  The doctor says, "Relax, Relax,... you're just going through your change!"