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On their first date, Sam asks Rosie what she’d like to do. Rosie replies, “Get weighed!” Sam finds this a curious request but takes her to the automatic scales outside the pharmacy. Then he suggests they go to the movies. After seeing the film Sam again asks Rosie what she wants to do. “Get weighed!” says Rosie. Again Sam takes her to the pharmacy to get weighed then suggests they have a meal. After dinner he asks what she’d like to do now. “Get weighed!” says Rosie. Sam is exasperated by these odd requests and after taking her to the pharmacy for another weighing drops her home. Rosie’s mother greets her at the door. “How was your date, darling?” asks her mother. “Wousy!” replies Rosie.

Oprectomy

KENMORE HOSPITAL
61 COMMONWEALTH AVE.
BOSTON, MA. 02115
DATE:____________NAME:____________ADDRESS: ____________
Please be advised that your Oprectomy operation is scheduled for_______________, at ___________(a.m.)(p.m.). The purpose of this extremely delicate operation is to sever the cord that connects your eyes to your rectum and hopefully get rid of your shitty outlook on life. 
Sincerely, J. Grabber, M.D.
Kenmore Hospital