Experience Counts

One day the manager of a brokers’ firm walks past a new employee counting put and call slips. The guy does it faster than anyone he has ever seen. “That’s amazing,” says the manager. “Where did you learn to count like that?” “Yale,” answers the employee. “Yale? I don’t believe it. I went to Yale too. What’s your name?” “Yimmy Yohnson,” says the employee.

Using a Suppository

A guy walks into a pharmacy to pick up his prescribed suppository and asks the pharmacist how to use it. The pharmacist tells him that he should take it rectally, and the guy leaves, confused. After 10 minutes, he comes back in and and asks her again how to use the suppository. The pharmacist tells him to put it in his anus, and the guy still seems confused, but leaves anyway. After an hour, he calls the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist how to use the suppository again, and she tells him, "Grab the suppository and shove it up your ass!" The guy yells back at the pharmacist, "No need to be rude, you're just doing your job!"