Light Bulb - Multiple Personality

Q: How many people with multiple personality disorder does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but they're really three.

Constipated President Bush

President George W. Bush is hit by a strong case of constipation. He sends his Spanish secretary, who knows little English, to the local hospital. She tells the doctor, "Big President Bush, no shit."
The doctor understands and gives him some medicine to take with him. The next day, the secretary comes back again and says, "Big President, no shit." The doctor gives him even stronger medicine. A few days later, the secretary comes yet again and says, "Big President, big no shit." The doctor gives him the strongest medicine he has. The next day, the secretary comes back to the doctor and says, "Ba-Boom! Big shit, no President."

Broken Legs

A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she decided to find a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself. Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards. Out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg. The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. Her doctor walked into her room laughing his head off. He said, "You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain! So, how did you break YOUR leg??"