Examination Room

A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. Well, when the man sat down in the examination room, he noticed that there were three items on a stand next to the doctor's desk: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer. When the doctor came in, the man said, "Look Doc, this is my first exam... I know what the K-Y is for... and I know what the glove is for... but what's the BEER for?" At this instant, the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, "Come on, nurse!!!... I said a BUTT LIGHT!!!"

'Breviated Medicul Dickshunnary!

Adenoids - (n) Space critters whut are keepin' Elvis alive on Pluto
Anesthesia - (n) Rushun princess y'all red 'bout in skool.
Antacid - (n) aloosinagenic drugs uzed by itty bitty bugz.
Bowel - (n) A alfabit letter lyke A, E, I, O, or U or why?
Bronchitis - (n) dinosour frum the plastikseen age; extinked.
Catscan - (v) lukin' fer hookers (don y'all do this)
Cauterize - (v) makin' eye contak with a hooker (berry dangerous)
D & C - (n) Warshingtun; whar the weirdos, purvurts, & kongress type peepul live.
Emema - (n) sumone who ain't never no frend no how
Fester - (n) yer unkles name (mos likelee)
Genital - (n) head of a army, fer sample, Genital Robert E. Lee
Heart - (v) when u cauz pain to some1
Hypodermic - (n) huge, big, fat zoo crittur; mostly live in de woter
Mamogram - (n) short note sent 2 yer ma er other female
Papsmear - (v) when peepul sez veri ugli things bout yer pappy
Recovery - (n) place wear yew fix up yer fernitur 
Rectum - (v) whut happenz when yew drive yer pick up truck
Drunk seizure - (n) Emperore of Rome.
Series - (n) tv continuin show, fer sample, Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
Testicles - (n) books of the Bible
Tumor - (n) how many beers yew can drink after last call
Urine - (v) xact oppisyte of yerrout

The Blonde Flu

A blonde walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I'm horribly sick!" The doctor looks at her and asks, "Flu?" "No, I drove here."