Signs You Took Y2K Too Serious

• You didn't find out that nothing happened for a week because you were holed up in your cellar.
• You don't have to go to the grocery store for a year.
• You invited the local football team over to eat twice this week, and you still have food left!
• You have no savings left because you used it to prepare.
• You spent the first week of the new year digging up all your valubles.
• You went to the bank on Monday and deposited $2000 of one and five dollar bills.
• You went ahead and had your water shut off, so you could use your stored bottled water.
• You were depressed because nothing happened !!

No Protection

A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices strange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off." The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan. The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?" The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA." The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off." The man answers, "Yes!" The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."

What's for Lunch

Q: How do you break an addiction to lunch meat?
A: Go cold turkey.