The Blind Man and the Fork

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down .The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me?  I'm the blind man."  "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macaroni and cheese with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in, he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."  Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."  The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?"

Dyslexic Pride Movement

Q: What is the rallying cry of the International Dyslexic Pride movement?
A: Dyslexics Untie!

Plane Bathroom Afflictions

A man on a plane asked the stewardess if he could use the restroom. She told him the men's room was broken, so he had to use the women's room. Then she said, ''But don't push the W.W. button, or the P.B. button, and DO NOT push the A.T.R. button." But of course he had to push the W.W. button, which he discovered stood for warm water (sprayed on your butt). Then he pushed the P.B. button, which stood for powder your butt. And since those two things had been so pleasant, he pushed the A.T.R. button. He later woke up in a bright room and doctors were all around him. When he asked why he was there, they asked him if he hit the A.T.R. - automatic tampon remover - button. The guy said, "Yes... what happened?" The doctor said, "Your penis is on your pillow."