Thermometers

Q: What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?
A: The taste!

The Doctor Backs Away

Don't you just hate it when you go to the doctor, and you're sitting on the examination table telling him about your symptoms, and with each new one you describe, he backs a little further away?

Penis Treatment Options

Two guys are at the doctor's office, each has got a problem with his "jimmy." One guy gets called in to see the doctor and comes back out five minutes later. The guy in the waiting room says, "Well, what'd he say?" The first guy tells him that the doctor said to just take a shower and the ring around his unit will come right off. So the next guy goes in thinking, "Great -- just take a shower." But instead the doctor tells him that they are going to have to operate. "Why?" he asks, "The other guy just had to take a shower." The doctor says, "Well, there's a big difference between lipstick and gangrene."