Polish Kid with Diarrhea

Q: Did you hear about the little Polish kid who got diarrhea?
A: He thought he was melting.

Hemorrhoid Bath

My oldest daughter went to the doctor because she had hemorrhoids. She came home and followed his orders. Later that day I asked her what that smell was and she said, "The doctor told me to take a sh*t bath." I said, "Girl it's a sitzs bath!"

Farts Go Honda

A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist."
The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an abscessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Abscess makes the farts go Honda!"