Disability Jokes - Deaf Jokes

Dry Cleaning

Monica needed to get one of her dresses cleaned so she took it to the dry cleaners. The man working there was an elderly man and was hard of hearing.
Monica said,"I need this dress cleaned."
The man said, "Come again?"
Monica replied, "No, it's just mustard."

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Anonymous

Selling to a Farmhouse

A traveling salesman approached an old farmhouse and noticed the strange behavior of the couple inside. The woman was running the lawn mower over the carpet and the man had one hand dipped in a fish bowl and was playing with himself with the other. The salesman assumed they were crazy and moved on. After he'd finished his pitch at the next farmhouse, he mentioned what he'd just seen. ''Oh, those folks ain't crazy,'' the farmer said, ''They're both deaf mutes. She was telling him to mow the lawn, and he was telling her to go fuck herself because he was going fishing.''

Anonymous

Tough Luck

Q: What did the blind, deaf, mute, quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?
A: Cancer!

Anonymous
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