Selling to a Farmhouse

A traveling salesman approached an old farmhouse and noticed the strange behavior of the couple inside. The woman was running the lawn mower over the carpet and the man had one hand dipped in a fish bowl and was playing with himself with the other. The salesman assumed they were crazy and moved on. After he'd finished his pitch at the next farmhouse, he mentioned what he'd just seen. ''Oh, those folks ain't crazy,'' the farmer said, ''They're both deaf mutes. She was telling him to mow the lawn, and he was telling her to go fuck herself because he was going fishing.''

Night Fight

One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Speedy

Tucker is a slow worker. He gets a job at the local zoo and the keeper, aware of his reputation, tells him to take care of the tortoises. Later, the keeper drops by to see how Tucker is getting on and finds him standing by an empty cage. “Where are the tortoises?” asks the keeper. Tucker shrugs, “I just opened the door and…Whooooosh!”