Die Hard Fans

A Giants fan, a Padre fan, and a Dodger fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Padre fan insists he's the most loyal. "This is for San Diego!" he yells and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Giants fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for San Francisco!" and pushes the Dodger fan off the mountain.

Someone Died Playing Golf

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and was very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.
"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." His wife replied "Oh, that's awful!" "You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."

Statesmen's Last Requests

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were both fighting in a war and were captured by the enemy. "Before we put you to death," said the enemy, "do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," said the Alabaman. "Could you play 'Yeah, Alabama' before you shoot me?" "Sure," said the enemy. "How about you, Tennessean?" "Could you shoot me before you play 'Yeah, Alabama?"