Long Line

My girlfriend has asked if I want to go to karaoke. I've decided to do Whitney Houston's biggest hit. You know, that one she took in the bath. Anything to avoid having to go to karaoke.

House Puzzle

Q: A lady went to bed and turned out all the lights. Later she awoke and heard a crash, instantly, she died of shock. What kind of house did she live in?
A: A lighthouse!

Trapped On A Rock

There was a man that was stranded, standing on nothing but a rock in the middle of the sea, waiting for someone to come. Then along comes a boat. The man on the boat asks  'do you want any help?' Man on the rock replies  'no, the Lord will save me' so then the man on the boat went away.  A helicopter then came and asked him 'do you want any help?' The man replied 'no the Lord will save me!' Then along comes another man on a boat and asks 'do you want any help?' and he said 'no, the Lord will save me'. By this stage he was up to his neck in water. He then drowned. He was at the holy gates and asked St. Peter 'why didn't the Lord save me????' St.Peter said' he sent you 2 boats and a helicopter, what more do you want!?'