Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

The Last Thing Di Said To Dodi

Q: What was the last thing Di said to Dodi?
A: Don't you think were taking this thing a little too fast?

Categories: Riddles , Word Play Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Hitman

Two guys are talking in a bar. “I want to kill my wife,” says one. “Why not ask Arti, over there,” says the other man, pointing to a man at the fruit-machine. “Arti over there is a top hitman,” the friend goes on. So the man approaches Arti. “Are you Arti the hit-man?” asks the man. “Sure am,” replies Arti. “You couldn’t murder my wife for me, could you?” asks the man. “I can,” replies Arti, “And you know, I promised my Master, who taught me the noble art of assassination, that I would do my one hundredth kill for a fee of just one pound and give the client two further kills for free.” “Great,” says the man. Could you kill my wife, her sister and my mother-in-law?” “OK”, replies Arti. “Get them to go to Tesco’s tomorrow at 10:00 AM.” “Right,” says the man. The following day the man’s wife, her sister and his mother-in-law are tricked by the man to go to Tesco’s. In walks Arti and in no time at all he strangles the wife, her sister and mother-in-law. All the newspapers lead with the same headline the following day – Arti chokes three for a pound at Tesco’s.

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother-in-Law Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Sister Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Anonymous

Blonde With a Chainsaw

Q: What do you call a blonde with a chainsaw?
A: Dead!

Categories: Blonde Jokes (Dumb Blonde Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Riddles
Anonymous
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