Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Upside Down

Q: What do an apple and Benito Mussolini have in common?
A: They both belong hanging in trees.

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Italian Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Riddles
Anonymous

Lady Di at Heavens Gates

Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. Peter asks: "Oh dear, what happened to you?" Di answers: "I died in a car crash, but wait till you see my friend, he looks much worse." Half an hour later Dodi shows up and St. Peter says: "My God, you look terrible." Dodi replies: "This is nothing. Wait till you see my driver." Half an hour later some bones and flesh move slowly to the Gates, and St. Peter says: "So you're the driver?" "No, I'm Mother Theresa."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

A Henpecked Husband

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?" "I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Psychiatrist Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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