Ex Wife Takes All

After 15 years of marriage, Kate leaves her husband Danny. Danny lost everything to his ex wife, so thinking he's going insane, he takes a little walk through the forest. As he was walking his foot hits a lamp and a genie comes out. The genie says, "I'll give u 3 wishes, BUT everything you get your wife gets two times as much." Danny wishes for a car and his wife got two times as many cars. Then he wished for a house and his wife got two houses. Then Danny asked the genie to choke him half two death.

Looking Forward

If you die and get cremated, you can be put into an hourglass and still be included in family game night

Lawyers

A man calls his lawyers office. When the receptionist answers the phone he asks to speak to Mr. Taylor, his lawyer.The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but Mr. Taylor died last week." The man says nothing and hangs up the phone. The next day he calls the office and again asks for Mr. Taylor. The receptionist says, "Sir, I told you yesterday that Mr. Taylor has died." The man again says nothing and hangs up the phone. The next day he calls the office again and asks for his lawyer. The receptionist gets angry and says "Sir, I have told you for two days that Mr. Taylor has passed away. Why do you continue to call?" The man then answers "I like hearing good news when I call my lawyer's office."