Ashamed

Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again...being so ashamed of what they were doing.

The Mortitian

The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning and was approached by his assistant.  "Anything interesting happen over-night", asked the mortitian.  "Yes", replied the assistant, "The most gorgeous 18 year-old blonde came in last night. Dead of course"  "What was the cause of death", inquired the mortition.  "I'm not sure",  replied the assistant. "But she's got a Prawn stuck up her cunt!"  "Are you sure?", said the Mortitian.  "Yes, come and have a look for yourself",  said the assistant opening the body bag.  The mortitian closely examined the beautifully trimmed snatch.  "That's not a prawn you stupid wanker", he responded, "That's her clitoris".  "Are you sure?", said the assistant,  "'Cuz it certainly tasted like a prawn".

Ex-Girlfriend

Sometimes I wonder about my ex girlfriends who I haven't seen in years. Has she become all fat and bloated, or has she become disgustingly skinny; or maybe someone has already found the body.