Grandma

Girls find it creepy that I have sex in the same bed my grandma died in.
I mean, I'll move her once I've saved enough for a funeral.

Stiff Golfing

John and Brandon meet in the clubhouse of the golf course.  John says to Brandon, "I hear you had a tragedy while golfing last week."  Brandon says, "Yes, I was playing with David and at the end of the ninth hole he dropped dead!"  John says, "Someone told me you carried him back to the clubhouse. That must have been tough without a cart.  He weighed over two hundred pounds, right?"  Brandon says, "Well, the carrying part wasn't so hard.  It was putting David down for every stroke and picking him up again that got to me."

Best Friend Test

A friend will help you move.
A best friend will help you move a body!