Usual Suspects

Three baseball fans walk out of a bar. They turn a corner and see a pair of legs sticking out from behind a bush. They push the bush aside and find a woman dead and completely naked. They call the police and as they wait, they decide to cover the woman up.
The Cubs fan takes of his hat and covers her left breast. The Reds fan takes off his hat and covers her right breast. The Yankees fan takes off his hat and covers her crotch.
The police arrive. The detective walks around the scene and writes in his little book. He lifts the Cubs hat, looks underneath, sets it back down and writes in his little book. He lifts the Reds hat, looks underneath, sets it back down and writes in his little book. He the lifts the Yankees hat, looks underneath, starts to set it back down, stops, does a double-take, sets the hat back down slowly and starts to write in the little book.
The Yankees fan is upset by this. He asks, "What was that? Haven't you seen one of those before?" The detective replies, "You misunderstand. Normally when I look under a Yankees hat, I see an asshole."

The Pepsi Plane Crash

There was a cargo shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction, and crashed in the jungle. A few days later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane to search for the plane and crew. They found the wreckage, but were not able to locate the crew. They searched the area and met with a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief nods and simply says, "Yes...seen plane crash". When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi!" The Rescue crew was shocked. Another man asked, "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi!" Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi!" Finally, another rescuer had to ask, "Did you..you know...eat their...things?" The chief says, "NO, you idiot!... even cannibals know that...THINGS go better with Coke!"

Wife Buried Her Husband

An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"