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Q: What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?
A: He had his first taste of Christianity!

What A Way To Go

A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had died in the act of making love. "How awful !" exclaimed the wife. "Si, but what a great way to spend eternity." added the husband.

Don't Jump

A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a Rail-Road trestle, about to jump off. An old homeless bloke who was wandering by stopped and said, "Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a quickie before you go?"
She screamed, "NO!  Get away, you dirty old man!"
He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay then, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."