I'm Sick

A guy rings work and says "I can`t come in to work today as I`m sick." The voice at the other end asks "How sick are you ?" The guy says "Well I`m in bed with my 12 year old son !!"

Saving Obama

Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see President Obama drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Obama asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Obama asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."

Tombstone

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.