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Dark Humor Jokes
Shots Fired
Two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance with shots fired arrive on scene. After discovering the wife had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor, they called their sergeant for advice on his cell phone.
"Hello Sarge.” "Yes.”
"It looks like we have a homicide here. “
"What happened?”
"A woman shot her husband for walking on the wet floor she had just mopped.”
"Have you placed her under arrest?”
"No sir. The floor is still wet."
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Constipated Indian Chief
One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. He sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says "big chief, no shit". The doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow. The warrior went back to the chief and gave him the pill. The next morning the warrior was sent back to the witch doctor and says "big chief, no shit". The doctor gives him five pills and tells him to give them to the chief. The next day the warrior appears at the witch doctor's house yet again saying "big chief, no shit". The doctor gets annoyed and so gives the warrior the whole bottle of pills to give to the chief. The next day the warrior goes back to the witch doctor "Big shit, no chief".
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Out of a Tree
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
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