New Preacher

A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave side committal service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. He arrived a half-hour late, the hearse was nowhere in site, and the workmen were eating lunch. The pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Taking out his book, he read the service.
As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: "Maybe we'd better tell him it's a septic tank."

Important Question

Q: How do you keep a terrorist from drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.

Baby Feet First

Q: Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face!