Chuck Norris' Enemies

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Thirty Times Faster

Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than it does today? We would get our paycheck everyday, and all women would bleed to death.

Some Last Minute Requests

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, "Call for my lawyer." When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either side. I just thought I'd check out the same way."