Flea In The Ear

Q: What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear?
A: Shot it!

Mick's Story

Mick was sitting at the pub telling his mate Harry about a disturbing thing that happened the night before. "Last night I came home from the pub pissed as a tick, so I hopped into bed and started feeling up me missus. After a few strokes of her firm arse she got aroused and then we fucked like bunnies for about two hours. Like I do every time after a fuck, I leaned over and turned on the light, lit up two cigarettes and went to pass one to the trouble 'n' strife. Rubbing me weary eyes I realized that I'd accidentally walked into my 15 year old daughter's room, and worse still she was on the swimming team and didn't smoke.

What OJ Has

Q: What does OJ have that every man wants?
A: A Heisman trophy and a dead ex-wife!