Suicidal Stanley Cup

Ron Hextal, the Flyer's goalie, was so upset about losing the Stanley Cup that he decided to commit suicide, so he jumped out in front of a bus. It went through his legs.

Someone Died Playing Golf

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and was very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.
"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." His wife replied "Oh, that's awful!" "You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."

Statesmen's Last Requests

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were both fighting in a war and were captured by the enemy. "Before we put you to death," said the enemy, "do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," said the Alabaman. "Could you play 'Yeah, Alabama' before you shoot me?" "Sure," said the enemy. "How about you, Tennessean?" "Could you shoot me before you play 'Yeah, Alabama?"