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Dark Humor Jokes
Last Musical Request
The inmate on death row is scheduled to be put to death by firing squad. He doesn't request a last meal or anything special for his last day. As he stands before the firing squad he says, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions." The guard nods solemnly and tells him to go ahead. The inmate starts, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall... ."
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Redneck Dirty Talk
This brother was banging his sister, and he says, "You f*ck like Mom," and she laughs. He says, "What?" She says, "That's what Dad said."
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The Mortitian
The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning and was approached by his assistant. "Anything interesting happen over-night", asked the mortitian. "Yes", replied the assistant, "The most gorgeous 18 year-old blonde came in last night. Dead of course" "What was the cause of death", inquired the mortition. "I'm not sure", replied the assistant. "But she's got a Prawn stuck up her cunt!" "Are you sure?", said the Mortitian. "Yes, come and have a look for yourself", said the assistant opening the body bag. The mortitian closely examined the beautifully trimmed snatch. "That's not a prawn you stupid wanker", he responded, "That's her clitoris". "Are you sure?", said the assistant, "'Cuz it certainly tasted like a prawn".
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