Gandhi's Afflictions

Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Dolly Parton's Kids

Q: How can you find Dolly Parton's kids in a crowd?
A: They're the ones with the stretch marks on their lips.

Herc, Snow White & Quasie

Hercules, Snow White and Quasemoto were sitting at a table talking. Hercules says, "I think I'm the strongest man in the world but it hasn't been proven yet."
Snow White says "I think I'm the fairest lady in the land but it hasn't been proven yet."
Quasie says "I think I'm the ugliest, meanest son of a gun in the world but it hasn't been proven yet."
The next day Hercules and Snow White are sitting at the table and Hercules says, "It's true I'm the strongest man in the world for God told me so".
Snow White says " It's true I'm the fairest lady in the land for God told me so."
Just then, Quasie started walking up the road really steamed and says " Guys can you do me a favor? Tell me who the heck is Janet Reno?"