The Lone Ranger and Tonto Riding

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through one of the many canyons when suddenly rising from the hill on their right are hundreds of indians! They start to spur their horse forward when they realize that there are hundreds of indians ahead of them. Wheeling to the left they, once again, see hundreds of indians rising from the hill. They begin to back away in the direction from which they had come and they realize, they are surrounded. The indians had spread out. They were trapped. The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto, his life long friend, and says "Tonto, my friend, I think I must say that I have treasured our times together, but now, I think we are doomed!"  " We?" replied Tonto. "What's all this we, Paleface!?!"

E.T. Welcome

Q: What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?
A: Where on Earth have you been?

David Copperfield and His Wife

David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to show him a trick? "I will," replies a guy in the audience, "but I'm going to need your wife Claudia and a table."  "Ok", says David and the guy gets on stage.  He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down her knickers and starts fucking her from behind.  David is now very pissed off and says, "That isn't a trick!!!"  The guy just looks at David Copperfield and replies, "I know, it's fucking magic!"