Indian Naming Traditions
The young Indian boy had spent most of his life in a quandry... He felt different yet... couldn't figure why... he was just so depressed. He went to the Chief for answers... He asked the chief how his brother Red Deer Running had gotten his name. The chief answered in his typically poetic way... "When Red Deer Running was born, at the moment of his birth, the first thing his mother saw was a beautiful deer running off into the forest... and so Running Deer was named. It is the custom of our tribe to name the offspring according to the spirits in nature visiting upon the birth." Then, the boy said to the Chief... "And how did my sister "Thundering Bird" get her name?" The chief described again, how at the moment of her birth Thundering Bird's mother had heard a roar of thunder and looking up, saw a bird flying in the sky... The boy asked again, how his cousin "White Crouching Bear" had been given such a name... And the chief, looking down once more at the boy, explaining the traditions of their tribe.... White Bear's mother had seen a rare white bear crouched over a stream at the moment her baby's birth. Then he asked the boy... "Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"
Rex the Dog
A cowboy, his horse and dog are captured by hostile Indians. The dog's fate is somewhat tenuous but it's certain that the cowboy will be executed at sunrise. That evening the Indian chief tells the cowboy that he can have one last wish before meeting his ultimate fate in the morning. The cowboy asks to see his faithful dog, Rex. The cowboy strokes and pets his companion and whispers something into his ear. At once the dog bounds and runs through the Indian village and over the hill. At about 8 o'clock that evening the dog returns accompanied by some two dozen hookers from the closest town. The braves were delighted and as the orgy wore on through the night, the chief told the cowboy that his execution was being postponed as they were all too tired from partying. The next day, the chief said to the cowboy, "in gratitude for furnishing the ladies last night, I'm going to grant you another request before you're executed." Again the cowboy requests to see his faithful dog. The cowboy again strokes and pets his companion and whispers into his ear, "this may be my last chance Rex, so please get it right this time --- go to town and get the posse!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto Riding
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through one of the many canyons when suddenly rising from the hill on their right are hundreds of indians! They start to spur their horse forward when they realize that there are hundreds of indians ahead of them. Wheeling to the left they, once again, see hundreds of indians rising from the hill. They begin to back away in the direction from which they had come and they realize, they are surrounded. The indians had spread out. They were trapped. The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto, his life long friend, and says "Tonto, my friend, I think I must say that I have treasured our times together, but now, I think we are doomed!" " We?" replied Tonto. "What's all this we, Paleface!?!"
Natives Like Americans
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.