Gandhi's Afflictions

Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Dolly Parton's Kids

Q: How can you find Dolly Parton's kids in a crowd?
A: They're the ones with the stretch marks on their lips.

Tyson's Excuses!

The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear:

1. Got a little carried away after seeing "Face/Off".
2. Really wanted to win first prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos".
3. Like this doesn't happen every year in the Masters.
4. Whenever Moe bites Curly's ear, it's hilarious!
5. Has to do this kind of thing to compensate for the fact that he talks like Melanie Griffith.
6. I guess you've never heard of a little thing called "strategy".
7. Ears are tasty.
8. It was self-defense -- he wouldn't stop punching me!
9. "Disqualified" sounds better than "got his ass kicked all over the ring".
10. He ran out of gum.