Shark Week - No Swimming

Little boy to mother: “Mommy, can I go swimming?”
Mother: “Certainly not. The sea’s too rough, there’s a terrible rip tide and a dangerous offshore current, and I’ve heard this coast is infested with jellyfish and sharks.”
Little boy: “But Daddy went swimming!”
Mother: “I know, but he has excellent life insurance.”

MJ at Walmart

Q: Why did Michael Jackson run to Walmart?
A: Boys pants were half off.

Chuck Norris' Enemies

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.