The Yuppie, Dink, Rub, and Wife

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional." The second guy says, "I'm a DINK. You know, double income, no kids." The third guy says, "I'm a RUB. You know, rich urban biker." They turn to the woman and ask, "So what are you?" The woman replies, "I'm a WIFE. You know - Wash, Iron, F***, Etc."

Irish Night on the Town

Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the town when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up and said to Paddy "Jeez, that look's like Sean," to which Paddy replied, "No, Sean was taller than that."

Three Girls

There were three girls in a bar. One girl says, "I can get a whole hand up my vagina!"
Then the second girl says, "Well, I can get a whole foot up mine!"
Finally, the other girl says, "I don't mean to brag, but could you help me off this stool!"