Bear in a Bar

A bear walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like a gin and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . tonic.
The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" The bear answers, "Born with them, I guess."

Three Girls

There were three girls in a bar. One girl says, "I can get a whole hand up my vagina!"
Then the second girl says, "Well, I can get a whole foot up mine!"
Finally, the other girl says, "I don't mean to brag, but could you help me off this stool!"

Brown Bag Surprise

One night a man walked into a bar with a brown paper bag. The woman sitting on the stool next to him asked him what it he had in there. He replies, "Sorry ma'am, I can't tell you. It's impolite." The woman kept asking, the man kept refusing until, finally, he told her, "Okay, if you must know, it's a pussy-eating frog." The woman insisted she didn't believe it and told him to come up to her hotel room and prove it. So the man followed her up to her room, she got into bed, he put the frog under the blanket and told it to eat. Nothing happened. The man kept telling the frog to eat. The woman began to get annoyed that nothing was happening. "Alright," said the man at length, "he's nervous. I'll have to show him how to do it all over again..."