Drinking Problem?

Q: How do you know when you've been drinking too much?
A: The bartender knows your name but this is the first time you've been to that bar

Homeless Meal Items

Three bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."

Yapucha Dance

A man was sitting at a bar in London, and ordered a drink. "So, who are you?", asked the bartender. "I'm a danceologist. I've studied every dance in the entirety of Europe". "Even the Wingo Wango?" "Mhm", he replied. "Even the Yapucha dance?", he asked.
"Wait, I've never heard of that one! Can you tell me about it?" The bartender shook his head. "I can't, but my cousin lives in Switzerland. Here's his address. The bartender handed him a business card. The danceologist thanked him, and booked a flight there. When he arrived at the airport, the cousin greeted the danceologist, and took him home.
"Every year on the 12th of May they do the dance. You see that mountain up there? They live on top. They'll be doing it in 2 weeks. The danceologist looked at the mountain in awe. Two weeks later, there was a heavy storm. Jagged rocks and the icy winds battered him. He didn't bring any oxygen, and so he felt too out of breath, and took a rest. Later, he carried on for one last push, and reached the top, where he met the tribe.
"Aha! Is this where the Yapucha dance is?", exclaimed the danceologist."Yes, you're just in time," laughed the chief. "Are we all ready?"
The other tribesmen got into a circle and nodded. The danceologist watched intently.
"Yapucha left foot in..."