Drinking Problem?

Q: How do you know when you've been drinking too much?
A: The bartender knows your name but this is the first time you've been to that bar

Homeless Meal Items

Three bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."

Seen You Before?

A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
"Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic."