Bar Jokes - Animal in Bar Jokes

Penguin Car Problems

A penguin was driving his car down the highway when steam began to pour out of the hood. He pulled into a repair shop and asked the mechanic to fix his car. The man said to come back in half an hour. So while he waited the penguin went across the street to the bar, and ordered a glass of milk. Since penguins don't have hands to hold glasses, he spilled some milk on his beak. When he returned to the mechanic, he asked what was wrong with his car. The mechanic said it looked like he blew a seal.

Anonymous

Not the Intended Profession

A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!" The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!" The bartender hooks a thumb over at a piano in the corner, "If that dog can play that piano, you both get a drink on the house!" The guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.  Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are loving it. Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.  The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?" The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother.  She wanted him to be a dentist."

Anonymous

An Amazing Talking Dog

A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure... go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Dog: "Roof!"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Dog: "Rough!"
Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth!"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"

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Anonymous
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