Bar Jokes - Animal in Bar Jokes

Penguin Car Problems

A penguin was driving his car down the highway when steam began to pour out of the hood. He pulled into a repair shop and asked the mechanic to fix his car. The man said to come back in half an hour. So while he waited the penguin went across the street to the bar, and ordered a glass of milk. Since penguins don't have hands to hold glasses, he spilled some milk on his beak. When he returned to the mechanic, he asked what was wrong with his car. The mechanic said it looked like he blew a seal.

Categories: Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Travel Jokes (Car Trip Jokes)
Anonymous

Serving Bears at Bars

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars." The bear replies, "If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there." The bartender says, "Go ahead." So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs." "What do mean," asks the bear. "I'm not on drugs." "Yes, you are, that was the bar bitch you ate."

Categories: Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Drug Jokes
Anonymous

Not the Intended Profession

A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!" The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!" The bartender hooks a thumb over at a piano in the corner, "If that dog can play that piano, you both get a drink on the house!" The guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.  Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are loving it. Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.  The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?" The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother.  She wanted him to be a dentist."

Categories: Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Art & Music Jokes (Pianist Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Dentist Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes)
Anonymous
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