Two Olives

Two olives were sitting at a bar having a couple martinis, when all of a sudden, one olive falls off his chair and hits the ground. The other olive looks down at him and says, "Oh man, are you okay?" The olive looks up at him and says, " Yes, Ol-live."

Bear in a Bar

A bear walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like a gin and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . tonic.
The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" The bear answers, "Born with them, I guess."

Who Keeps Saying Those Things?

A man walked into a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You've got great hair!" The man looked around but couldn't see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer.
A minute later, he heard the same soft voice say, "You're a handsome man!" The man looked around, but still couldn't see where the voice was coming from.
When he went back to his beer, the voice said again, "What a stud you are!" The man was so baffled by this that he asked the bartender what was going on. The bartender said, "Oh, it's the nuts -- they're complimentary."