The Hog

There is a drunk guy in a bar and a big, fat woman with a parrot on her shoulder. She sits by the drunk guy and he looks over at her and says, "Where'd you get that hog?" She looks at him and frowns. He takes a few more drinks, then he says, "Where'd you get that hog?" She looks and says, "I'll have you know, this is not a hog, this is a parrot!" The dude says, "Well I'll have you know, I was talking to the hog."

Donkeyboy Bartender

Bob and Jim walk into a bar. Bob says, "Hey Donkeyboy, get me a drink." The bartender gets him a drink. Bob says, "Donkeyboy, get me another drink." The bartender gets him another drink. Finally, Jim asks the bartender, "Why does he call you Donkeyboy?" "I don't know. Hehaw-hehaw-he always calls me that."

Bar Jump

A man walks into a bar and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. His curiosity gets the best of him so he asks the bartender what the deal was.  "Anyone who can jump up and slap the meat earns free drinks for the rest of the night.", the bartender answered. "But, if you miss you pay everyone else's drinks for the next hour. Would you like to try?"
The man thought about it for a moment, and then answered, "Nah, the stakes are too high."