Drunk Alaskan Ice Fishing

A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. He starts sawing a hole in the ice, when a loud booming voice says, "You will find no fish there." The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice booms again, "You will find no fish under the ice." The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?" The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."

Natural Hair Color

Three girls walk into a bar; a brunette, a red head, and a green haired girl. The bar tender asks the brunette how she keeps her hair so brown. The brunette combs her hands through her hair and says, "It's natural it's natural." Then the bar tender asks the red head how she keeps her hair so red. She combs her hands through her hair and says, "It's natural, it's natural." Then he asks the green haired girl how she keeps her hair so green. She sneezes into her hands, combs her hands through her hair and says, "Its natural, its natural."

Pig with Wings

A pig with wings walks into a bar. 
The bartender says, "You can't bring food in here from another restaurant! Even if you are a cop!"