Piano Uncle

My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.

What's that sound?

A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commemorative plaque, only to be distracted by a low scratching noise, as if something was rubbing against a piece of paper. She collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is. The local person replies, "Oh, that is Beethoven. He's decomposing."

Wonder Car

Q: Where does Stevie Wonder park his car?
A: In blind spots.