Yo Mama - Stuck Between Poles

Yo mama so fat, she once got stuck between the North and South Pole.

No Worries

A fat teenager is sitting on a park bench eating a huge bag of potato chips.
The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating too much junk food is bad for you." The boy looked over and replied, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate lots of junk food?"
"No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."

Naked Owner

An elephant sees his owner naked and asks, "How you drink water with that?"