Lonely Frog

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor told him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "In biology class."

Jump Two Feet

Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers. The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at the rubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind. The chemist goes into the back and brings out another pack. "Nah," says Johnny, "what else do you have?" "Well," the chemist replies, "the only other kind that I have are the ones with all the bumps and ridges on them. Do you know what these will do to a woman?" Little Johnny says, "No... but they'll make a goat jump about two feet off of the ground!"

A Bat's Worst Day

Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"