Squirrel Infestation

There were four county churches in a small Arkansas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a large plywood cover on the baptistery and flood it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Catholic group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But, the Methodist Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Darn it!

Q: What did the spider say when he broke his new web?
A: Darn it!

Quiz For My Smart Friends

This is a quiz to see if you should be considered a 'professional smart person' by your friends. You can scroll down for answers. There are 4 questions. They are not that difficult.

1. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? ****Answer: Open the door, put in the elephant, and close the door.*
2. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? ****Answer: Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.*
3. The animals are having an animal meeting. All the animals attend except for one. Which one does not attend? ****Answer:  The giraffe. The giraffe is in the refrigerator.*
4. You must cross a crocodile-infested river. How do you manage it? ****Answer:  You swim across. All of the animals are attending the animal meeting.