Top 15 Household Pet Dishes

1. Angelfish Cake
2. Hamster and Cheese on Rye
3. Chow Chow Mein
4. Bran Muffy
5. Eggs BenjiDict
6. Yorkie-shire pudding
7. Shih-Tzu Kabobs
8. Potbelly Pig in a Blanket
9. Shrimp Cockatiel
10. Fettuccine AlFido
11. Chicken Poodle Soup
12. Turtlellini
13. Lhasa Thermidor
14. Rex-Mex Enchihuahuas
15. I'll-Teach-You-to-Piss-On-My-Pillow Persian Pancakes

Blondes and Turtles

Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

Time Telling at the Zoo

A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searches for someone who could give him the time. He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse me, sir," says the young man "Do you know what time it is?" The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.
"Mmmmm, it is about 3:00," the zoo keeper responds. The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you."